Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

Look the little tribe of Benjamin leads the way. Psalm 68:27

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"In everything you do, put God first and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success."
Proverbs 3:6

Monday, August 2, 2010

R-E-S-P-E-C-T (completing him challenge) & Marriage Monday

It is time for the completing him challenge of the week at

R-E-S-P-E-C-T and Your Husband

It's Week #8 in our marriage challenge and this challenge is straight from the Bible:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T Your Husband!

Ephesians 5:33 says "Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself and the wife must respect her husband."
God's command to wives is to respect our husbands - unconditionally. Our men are not boy scouts trying to earn badges of honor. God does not say - respect the husband who is "worthy" of respect. It is simply their position of husband that we are to respect.

Dr. Emerson Eggerich says in his book "Love and Respect" that if you asked women if they'd rather their friends love or respect them - the majority would say love. But if you asked men if they'd rather their friends love or respect them - the men would answer respect. We are hard wired this way - God created men with the need to feel respected and adequate.
Sometimes we women "mock" the male "ego" - but it truly is tender. Deep down - there's insecurity and they need to know that indeed they are adequate, they are enough, they are worthy of our respect.

Sometimes it's hard to know exactly what it is that makes your husband feel disrespected. Sometimes the strangest comment I make will make my husband angry. I don't see it disrespectful at all - and it baffles me - yet he is clearly offended. It has taken time for me to learn what it is that makes him feel disrespected.
This week - take some time to assess your husband's respect-o-meter. Ask him what sort of things you do that make him feel disrespected and respected. Work on weeding out disrespectful thoughts and attitudes and exchanging them for respectful ones.
And remember you respect your husband because of who God is and his commands. You respect your husband because of who you are and your character. You respect your husband because you have been given grace and you freely give it. You respect your husband because of your vows at the marriage altar. And you respect your husband because you do indeed love him and desire to please him.
For more check out
I know in my heart that I RESPECT my husband for MANY things. He is a godly man that leads our family well. I RESPECT his occupation. I know that it is something that I could never do and I am grateful that he does it for our family and for our country. I RESPECT the kind of man that he is and what he wants to be. There are many things that I RESPECT about him.
I also know that there may be things that I do that may not seem to be DisRESPECTFUL to me but Ben may take to be so. I am going to try hard not to do some of those things (this is something that I have been working on for weeks, that my prayer partner helps to hold me accountable for) and see if I can find out what else I can do to limit it.
As for the past 2 challenges, we haven't talked about his goals yet. Ok so that is a lie....we did talk about ONE of his work goals for the next year. I hope to revisit that conversation soon!
I have been making a consicous effort to make food that is more pleasing to Ben. I have been adding more veggies to our meals and trying to be more health conscious. His favorite meal is Indian Fry Bread and I am afraid that I am going to have to defer this request to my Mother-in-law as I don't know how to make it!
I commend you all for this journey that we are on! It is our God given duty to be pleasing to our husbands. I would like to say that it is easy but sometimes it is just not! I can say that I am enjoying trying to be the woman that God created me to be for my husband.
Is having Marriage Monday today! Go and visit you will love it!

Prov. 31:11a "The heart of her husband trusts in her."

Caring about having our husband's support helps him trust us. When we wait and pray, it helps him trust us. It might be starting an in home business, doing daycare in your home, getting a gym membership, teaching children's church, repainting your kitchen, being the team soccer mom, or writing a book ... the "it" doesn't really matter. What matters is that our husband is up front waving the "all clear" flag.

Last week we took some time to consider confidence crushers; later this week I want to put the spotlight on some of the secrets to REAL confidence. In marriage, I think this is one of those secrets. God builds confidence between us when we go about marriage His way, instead of trying to force our agenda without or in spite of God's plan.

We have the confidence OF our spouse when we wait on and value his support, and we have confidence IN our spouse when we wait on and pray for his support.
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~Amy~ said...

Praying for God's richest blessings on your marriage!
Stopping by from the "Completing Him Challenge!"

Heather G. said...

I stopped by from Completing Him Challenge and I am now following! I just wanted to thank you for the video you have of your husband as a Marine. My brother just joined the Marines this year and is almost done with training! God bless our men and women who are fighting for our freedom!

Julie@comehaveapeace said...

Oh, Jamie Lynn, I think your Ben is blessed. :) And YOU can make that Indian Fry Bread; I just know it!! :) Kudos to you, girl, for pursuing a marriage where you are blessing your man with respect. Striving for that each day along with you,

Thanks for adding this to Marriage Mondays!

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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

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