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MOTHERHOOD!
I have been stewing about a few comments that I heard a few weeks ago in the Starbucks at Barnes and Noble & I finally decided to vent a little bit (to someone other than Ben.) B&N has story time on Mondays and Wednesdays for toddlers, which I personally think is great to get them involved in reading & out to play with other children. This particular Monday, Kendall took a detour on the way back to the children's section and thus I overheard this conversation. There were 2 young girls sitting there talking about story time. Now I am a big fan of everyone is allowed to have & voice their own opinions but sometimes people will take it to far....that being said the conversation went something like this.....
"Can you believe the values (that are being taught by staying at home) and stereotypes that these women are teaching their children?" Talk about keeping the kids in the stone ages.....etc, etc. (The conversation was actually a lot longer but I don't feel that it is important enough to justify the time it would take to type it.)
First of all....I believe that values that we are trying to teach Kendall & Isaac are that we want to raise them and that they are important enough for us to sacrifice one of us staying at home. Also, what the heck do these ladies think that I do all day? Because it isn't sitting on my duff watching soaps.
Secondly, there was quite a few dads there that day & they were flying solo with their children so I am not sure what stereotype that would encompass.
I sat and thought about it for awhile.......right now for Isaac, I nurse him, change his diaper, & burp him every 3 hours. The grand total of that routine is about 8 hours a day. Then add in holding him for pleasure, cleaning him up in between times when there is an accident, & trying to stimulate him on his einstein mat or giving him belly time etc.....add in Kendall. We are trying to potty train which now involves sitting in bathroom with her to read a book, put stickers in her book or various other things to keep her on the potty. I have only been managing at most 4 times a day to get her on there. Plus changing her diaper, feeding her, and playing with her so that she doesn't feel left out. (Did I also mention trying to break her of her binky?) I wish that I could be there when these 2 girls have children to laugh when they realize how selfish and stupid their comments were.
Now I am not wanting to debate which is harder working -vs- staying at home because each has its own set of problems and concerns but I do want to voice my opinion.....by far staying at home and trying to be a great mom is THE HARDEST JOB I have ever had!
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11 comments:
Jamie, I couldn't agree with you more!!! This is the first time I am staying at home for an extended period of time(approx 1 year) to take care of the kids. I love it, but it is by far harder than getting up and going to work. So, to all the moms in the world, here's one for you. Hoorrayy!!
-Lindsay
Thanks Lindsay! I go to work one day a week and I feel bad for saying this but I look forward to it as I don't have anyone demanding anything of me & it feels good just to have peace and quiet. I guess that some people just don't have any qualms about loudly voicing their opinion in public :-) How is it going with 3 kiddos?
It is the hardest and most rewarding job that you will ever have. Multitasking that's is all I have to say. I think mothers that stay home could possible run a multimillion dollar company better than a woman that doesn't have children because of the various no, wrong word multitude of jobs that a mother does in one day. I run into mother's that can't stay home not because of money but because they can't be with their children all day. Those comments amaze me, why have children. I used to get tired of the comments at work (I worked casual at the hospital also) about how I didn't work much etc. Well because I wanted to stay home with my kids and be there for everything. I finally realized these people were just jealous. So you are doing a service to your children by staying home and being with them, and enjoying every moment. You won't have someone else tell you that Isaac took his first steps or said his first word. You will see it and hear it with your OWN eyes and ears. Sorry to ramble just feel very strongly about stay at home moms.
Thanks Stacey :-) Rambling or not I agree with you as well. We could probably do a lot more fun stuff if I worked but I would be miserable knowing that the kids were with someone else!
Precious Daughter in law, I am very proud of you and Ben for making raising the kids and being a stay at home Mom a priority for this stage of your lives. That is what it all is, stage---stage---and then the next stage. And they bloom, one after another and then the babies are grown and flown the coop---and you won't have to wish you would have spent more quality time when they were you. I am writing this from the hotel in Austin. Sarah told a funny story about her trip here with those 3 little girls. As she was going through the security check in Tulsa, 2 business men were watching her fold up the stroller with one hand while she held the 3 month old Bethany in her other arm, keeping eyes on 2 year old Gabrielle, and 4 year old Naomi. Apparently they were in awe because one of the business men spoke up and asked Sarah, ". . . are you wonder woman. . . we were just talking about how organized you are. . ." All Sarah could do was smile and say, "...no, I am a Mom and do this all the time. . ." Cute cute cute....smile stay at home Moms, the world is in awe of you!!!! Love Chris :)
I am in awe of Sarah too Chris :-) There is no way that I would have attempted that....she is wonder woman! We wish that we could be there with you guys for Nathan's wedding and Jim's ceremony! Make sure to give our beautiful nieces hugs & kisses from us and hugs to everyone else.
Love to you all!
I totally understand what you are saying about, enjoy going to work to get away. I work my tail off at home. I always tell people I do my hard work at home.
Oh yeah Andrea! I was just thinking that this morning as Isaac was wailing his head off for no reason at 0400! I hate all of the patient comments about working part time....
i firmly believe that it is YOUR choice to stay at home or not, but i have to say doing a little of both...the hardest job ever was staying home full time with allyson. it is probably the most rewarding and yet under appreciated job. obviously these two women haven't a clue about quality of life :-) unbelievable!
Amen Michelle! I am just chalking it up to age & plain old lack of common sense!
I hate to admit how foolish I was about things when I was younger. I remember meeting a SAHM who had a degree from Princeton. I thought, "What a waste of money!" I disdained the girls at college who were only there for their MRS degree.
But, now I realize that staying home with my daughter is a priveledge and a tough job. I know that she is getting love and care every day, and I know that I am a good role model for her. I am modeling that some things in life are more important than money. She is the most important thing in my life. My career will still be there when she is old enough to be in school. I will never get these years back! I know some people don't have the choice to stay home, but I am so glad that I am able!
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