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Monday, September 12, 2011

Time for Marriage Mondays!

Ok so I am posting this week's Marriage Monday (may I just say OUCH Julie! But yes a great reminder!) and last weeks as well. I read Julie's Labor day post and was particularly inspired and wanted to share it with y'all as well! Without any further ado...
September 12, 2011
How are you coming to bed at night? What message does your "condition" send to your bedmate? While real love and life are a far cry from the image reality tv shows attempt to sell us, we can't turn a blind eye (with bags under it, mind you) to God's standard for keeping ourselves and what we "say" to our lover by our "self keeping."

(Fortunately for me, my husband has been TAD for the past few weeks as I have not been in great condition when I have come to bed!)

When Proverbs challenges a husband to find satisfaction in his wife, we catch a glimpse of God's plan for how a woman prepares and presents herself to her mate:

"Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love." (From Proverbs 5:15-19)

Lovely? Graceful? Delight? Intoxicating? This picture is one of beauty and preparation, presenting your best self in a way that is to be enjoyed. The fountain of the blessed marriage is a far cry from the stagnate, frayed, and worn bride that many of us drag to bed each night.
Isn't it tough to put your marriage first (after God of course) when you have the care of children, your home, friends, serving at church, insert your daily obligation here___________ It makes it really tough at the end of the day to really care about being pleasing to your mate.
Maybe it's time to get rid of my tank top ... and shave under my arms ... and use a little makeup remover. I would be a lot more "intoxicating." Maybe it's time to prepare myself to be beautiful at one of the sweetest times of the day, the end.
September 6, 2011
And Last week in Marriage Mondays......
Along the way of marriage, some stop working, some grit their teeth and tackle the challenges, others give up, and some bail out altogether. The sweetness of marriage is never realized without a lot of work.

In honor of Labor Day in my country, I want to remind myself (and let you listen in...)

10 Ways to Work on My Marriage

1.Ask my husband if I'm meeting his needs and how I could do better.
And try not to be afraid of the answer or suggestions!
2.Ask a trusted friend what our marriage "looks like" from the outside.
Someone who is going to tell you the truth!
3.Read a marriage book written from a biblical perspective.

4.Attend a conference, workshop or class about growing a stronger marriage.

5.Go away together overnight without your children.
Amen! I am looking forward to my cousin's wedding (not only because I love her) because my parents have graciously said that they will take our children to their room to spend the night. We will have 3 nights alone!!!
6.Pray for my husband and write down what I'm praying.
And ask him in specific what he wants me to pray about.
7.Read what God says in the Bible about marriage, re-read, re-read, & memorize.

8.Make your bedroom someplace special, instead of a storage room/family room/ironing room.
Ahem....yeah gotta work on that before Ben gets home!
9.Set aside money in your budget to invest in one "work on your marriage" idea.

10.Carve out time for conversation with each other to listen and share without interruption.
I am looking forward to reinstating our date nights when Benny gets home!

•Are you surprised at how much work marriage takes?

•What are you doing to "labor" at having a marriage that's better next year than today?

Also last week, Courtney at posted 14 things that she has learned about marriage in the last 14 years. They were too good not to share!

But first, Here’s 14 things I’ve learned in 14 years of marriage!

1. My husband is not Jesus! He cannot fulfill all my emotional, spiritual or even physical needs.
And when you start to rely on your husband like that it puts UN-needed and un-wanted expectations on your spouse.
2. I married a sinner. My husband married a sinner too. Grace – grace MUST be a part of a good marriage.
And there is no hierarchy of sin.....
3. We must forgive each other over and over and over if we are going to have peace and joy in our marriage. “A good marriage is made up of two good forgivers.” ~ Spurgeon
Ahhhh....a work in progress
4. Fighting is normal. I must admit it sure doesn’t feel normal when it’s happening. It’s miserable to fight with the one you love most.

5. Marriage is a tool of sanctification in my life. There is no other relationship on this planet that has challenged me more to the core, as mariage. It has shown me many of my weaknesses and spiritual short comings and has brought me closer to Christ.

6. Do the harder things. It’s easier to criticize and nag than it is encourage and build up.

7. We reap what we sow in marriage. The longer I live the more I can see clearly – the grass IS NOT greener. When my grass looks brown – and someone elses looks greener – I simply need to water my grass everyday till it’s green again!

8. I’m not really that great to be married to. I’d like to think I’m the bomb diggity and my hubby lucked out in scoring a wife like me to be married to (*wink) - but to be honest I have blindspots…things I don’t see that he very clearly does see and those things are annoying.

9. My husband doesn’t always show his love by his words or affection but often it’s through his faithfulness, his provision for the family, taking the trash out or taking the kids on a bike ride so I can have a quiet moment to myself.

10. My husband needs attention. He needs to be heard. He needs back rubs. He needs a cold drink when he’s been out in the heat. He needs me to be “into” him and “into” whatever he’s interested in…ie. politics, Ohio State Football, his business, airplanes… this is what MY husband is “into” therefore, this is what I’M “into”.

11. Giving my husband respect changes the way my husband sees me. Submission is like a muscle…the more I practice it, the stronger and easier it becomes.

12. My husband needs s*x…a lot! lol!

13. Reading good Christian books on marriage has helped me to understand my husband better. I want to continually be a student learning and growing in wisdom as a wife.

14. Marriage is hard work and can be a bumpy road at times. But if I hang on tight to the hem of Jesus and the hand of my husband – I’ll have the best ride of my life!

Praying for you and your spouse today! I hope that Julie and Courtney's wisdom brought you the same joy (and things to work on in your marriage) as it did to me!
Happy Monday!

1 comment:

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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

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