Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2

Look the little tribe of Benjamin leads the way. Psalm 68:27

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"In everything you do, put God first and He will direct you and crown your efforts with success."
Proverbs 3:6

Monday, October 17, 2011

Marriage Monday

I have been so busy that I haven't been able to keep up with some of my favorite blogs but today I am dedicating some time to do just that....not to mention procrastinating a little bit on organization of the house.
I love Julie's Marriage Monday posts and I wanted to share part of today's and one from back in September.
You can check out her blog at www.comehaveapeace.blogspot.com/
As usual, I will chime in with a few thoughts of my own highlighted in another color.
October 17, 2011
Sometimes our vows are not easy to live out. It's in "sickness" when we show that love is an ACTION, a CHOICE, not simply a feeling.

Now I know that Ben & I said those same vows "in sickness and in health...." Unfortunately for Ben, I seem to be the one who is sick more often.
Although this pregnancy is a great joy to us, it is also a "sickness" as I do not do well during pregnancy. It takes an extreme sacrifice to keep us running on a "normal" schedule.
So did you mean it? When you promised to "love, honor, and cherish" in "sickness and in health"?

We can not know our future, but we can remember the vows we made and re-commit to being a "Marriage Survivor" no matter what the future holds
So thankful that Ben meant his vows and if he ever gets sick (I can count on 1 hand the times he has been sick in the last 8 years) I pray that I continue to do the same!
September 26, 2011
Marriage Mondays ~ 5 Sec Touch Challenge


If you knew you could do something guaranteed to reduce your husband's stress load and increase satisfaction in your relationship, would you do it? What if it was as simple as spreading your hand and touching your man?
Last year the New York Times published a report by Benedict Carey about how touch, the first means of communication we learn, affects our relationships. Findings at the Touch Research Institute, "found that a massage from a loved one can not only ease pain but also soothe depression and strengthen a relationship."
I am not so good at back rubs....in fact truth be known I am horrible at giving them. I love to rub Ben's head so I am hoping that massage does the same for him....maybe I should get in some practice on the back rubs :)

A research team explored how physical touch in the National Basketball Association (Our men will listen to this sports tidbit, ladies ..) reflected how successful the teams are, and "with a few exceptions, good teams tended to be touchier than bad ones."
"Players who made contact with teammates most consistently and longest tended to rate highest on measures of performance, and the teams with those players seemed to get the most out of their talent." When the same test was applied to 69 couples, researchers found that couples who touched more were also more satisfied.

When we open our hands and take time to touch, we're more "successful" in our relationships and we encourage each other to be our best. We can actually impact our husband's stress level by touching consistently and often.
This makes me think of my Grammy and Pappy as I see and have seen most of my life them touching each other. 60 some years later they are still going strong!
1.When was the last time you held your husband's hand? Did you initiate?
We like to do this a lot while watching our tv at night. But the last time was this morning after our morning devotional & yes I did initiate it!
2.When was the last time you put your arms around your husband?
At least every morning when we walk him out and hug/kiss him goodbye before work.
3.How often do you touch your husband's face? (Wiping off food doesn't count ;) )
I would like to say everyday but it is probably every other day
4.Do you ever lay your open hand on your husband's leg?
Yes, most definately!
5.Have you put your hand on your husband's chest this week?
Hmmm.....not quite sure?
Ever since Genesis 3 men have been toiling in the world and experiencing stress; a wife's touch can be a wonderful cure. "A warm touch seems to set off the release of oxytocin, a hormone that helps create a sensation of trust, and to reduce levels of the stress hormone cortisol." This is one way an excellent wife can help the heart of her husband to trust in her, so that "She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life," (Prov. 31:11-12). Touching reinforces mutual trust and helps lower stress levels.

What does your touch or your lack of touch say to your man? Does it speak trust, support, and confidence? Does it speak affection, desire, and encouragement? Or is it silent and cold? It's saying SOMETHING, but what? Sometimes I have a wake up moment and realize I've become distant or cold or just busy ... and I've stopped touching like I should. It doesn't always happen naturally. Like anything else, our touch can become distorted.What a powerful message we can send through reaching out to touch our man.
I pray to never be too distant, cold or busy for this simple pleasure!

"In effect, the body interprets supportive touch as 'I'll share the load.'"

I want to challenge myself and you this week. Sometimes the caress of a fingertip is enough to speak volumes, but why not open your hand and lay it on your man and just let it rest for 5 seconds? It may not sound like a long time, but in our hurried pace of life, it often takes an intentional decision to stop what we're doing, (kids, work, computer, whatever...) reach out, spread our hand, and let it rest while we count to 5. I also have a feeling it may do beautiful things.

Go ahead. Take the 5 Second Touch Challenge, and see what God gives you to enjoy!


wlw

I also like to read Courtney's posts over at http://womenlivingwell.org/
Back on October 9, 2011, She wrote in the 31 day fall challenge about Having Fun in your home....I need work on this! So I am sharing it as well!
Last week we had a two-fold challenge, “light a candle and every time you see the glimmer of it pray for peace in your home“. I want to encourage you to keep your candles and prayers going.


This week’s challenge is two-fold also:

Play soft music everyday in your home. Choose music that the family enjoys.

Then, focus on using peaceful words and maintaining peaceful relationships. Role model gentleness with your words this week and while you’re add it have a little fun. Since the music is going, grab your husband or children and dance!

1. When you feel tempted to raise your voice, use a child’s name in a snarl, furrow your brow into a scowl or speak rapidly in anger…purposely lower your voice to just above a whisper.


Proverbs 15:1 says “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Focus on gentle words, facial expressions, and touches.

2. Purpose to not let someone else’s anger make you angry.
Many times as a wife and mom, I find myself responding to other’s emotions. Someone in the family is grumpy and two minutes later I’m grumpy too. Someone in the family is speaking harshly and two minutes later I’m speaking harshly too. Purpose to stay in control of your emotions and not let the other members of your family dictate your mood.

3. Yelling at a bud won’t make it bloom.
Your home will not blossom into a haven if you are not controlling your temper.

4. Continue to light your candle and pray for peace in your home.

Persevere in prayer for your family. James 5:16b says, “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”
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Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

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