A cousin filled Fourth of July

I figured that while we are still in the month of July that maybe I should get on the ball and post some of our fun memories from it!

I thought that I would continue to post some from the visit with Ben's sister, Sarah, and her family.

We took a ferry and visited Bear Island.
It was obivously full of fun and headstands!

Oh and lots of eating!

It was a fun ferry ride with 4 adults and 6 children under the age of 8!

Trying to catch some of the fireworks from Camp Lejeune without actually going onto Camp Lejeune!

Precious Gabrielle (Our 2nd niece)

Happy 3rd Birthday Bethany!
(Our 3rd niece)

Lily
(Our 4th niece)

Our oldest niece Naomi....so hard to believe that she was born the month before Ben and I got married. Now here she is a little lady!

Holding my little man in a rare shot of me NOT behind the camera!

Ben doing some ground fireworks at home

Visiting the Aviation Memorial on MCAS New River
Of course posing with Ben's old aircraft
The UH-1N Huey

Our boating excursion

The end.....for today at least!

Wednesday

Wednesday on a Thursday!

I am partcipating in Wordless Wednesday, Wordful Wednesday, and Women Living Well Wednesday. WHEW that is a lot of W's!

These photos were taken yesterday during swim lessons.

The kids are at the end of their first week of two weeks of swim lessons.

I love that they love to be active.

I also want them to be able to do things that I haven't been able to do. (I don't know how to swim but I am hopeful that with a very patient instructor & strength from the Lord that I will some day learn.)

Learning how to be brave in the deep end.
Psalm 56:3-4



When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid.

Mischief in the making
Proverbs 22:6
Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
I pray that these lessons give him discipline in his future pursuits. 

The jetpack that keeps her afloat.
But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired. Isaiah 40: 31
I hope that someday she realizes her strength comes from one source alone

Trusting that blowing bubbles under the water will not hurt him



 



Marriage Monday

So Julie will usually have a great tidbit on marriage and advice to make it practical. I love reading her Marriage Mondays and take the advice to heart. This week it felt like she was talking directly to me.
Last week, I expected Ben to be so much more than he could be. He (and no one else for that matter) could soothe or take away the pain that I felt last week as my due date approached. I was angry at a lot of things and Ben was included in that.
Even though in my head and heart, I knew that it was wrong to be so angry, I just could not stop myself from being so.
I am in a better frame of mind this week but still craving what only God can give me now..... peace & comfort from my grief.
Anyway, I wanted to share part of Julie's post and if you want to hear more about her vacation mistake then check out her blog!
Julie wrote:
Sometimes I ask for/expect/demand something of my husband that he never promised me and can't produce. He promised a lot of things, but he didn't promise everything. He didn't promise to be able to satisfy all of my needs, yet I often put those expectations on him.


Imagine trying to order a burger at Chick-fil-A or asking for a life jacket at a ski slope. Imagine demanding to have your hair colored at the dentist office or insisting on college credit at your child's kindergarten graduation. Imagine telling the Avis agent you want to see their supervisor to give you your Dollar Rent-A-Car vehicle. (Humbling ........ ) Imagine expecting your husband to be your source of joy, satisfy all of your emotional needs, give you total peace, and keep you safe wherever you are.


Sometimes I stand before my husband wanting something he was never intended or equipped to give me. He wants to meet my needs and make me happy, but he must get frustrated as I stand there insisting he must give me what I want from him, even if they are legitimate needs. Just one "desk" away, Jesus stands waiting to give me joy, peace, and safety in abundance. I don't want to miss out! I have to go to the "right desk!"

Let's free our husbands from wrong expectations, and let's allow the Lord to give us what only He can give. We'll enjoy them both more when we go to the "right one" for what we need.

Have you found yourself trying to get something from your husband or another friend that the Lord wants to be the One to give you?

Our recent date night



Dread day

So I have known that this day is coming for several long months (dreading it coming) and now that it is here, well it is still weighing on me.

I have had so many thoughts, feelings, and emotional outbursts since July 1st that I figured I had better write it all out and try to get it off of my chest, off my mind, off my heart.

Today was supposed to be the "due date" of our third child. We were so excited that it also fell on my father-in-law's birthday. I know in my heart of hearts that this little one probably would have been early like his/her big sister and brother but I am still clinging to this date because it was/is a tangible time for me.

I have been falling into the "what if's" again even though I have tried not to go there. I even what if'd my way to looking at a Chinese birth chart because I thought that maybe it would make me feel better to "know" what my baby's sex could have been. (Now for those of you that know me well don't think that I have gone off the deep-end because I know that there will be a time when I meet this little one face-to-face & ONLY then will I know the person that he/she was.)

I have been trying different things that were suggested to me from dear friends who have also been through miscarriage. Some of them bandaid the pain for a little bit but it seems to migrate back to me. 

It seems compounded when each month I wind up not pregnant yet. It makes me question God's timing. It makes me want to demand that God bend to my time-line. Maybe that is what this very hard life lesson is about.....learning to accept God's timing and ultimate authority over my life. It is a very hard pill to swallow when you want something so very much.

Perhaps some day I will be able to look back on this season of my life and say, "Oh that is why." Perhaps not. 

In the meantime, I am thankful that I have a husband who is supporting of my major mood swings in reagards to this topic and that I have two precious babies that also need me to be in the here and now. And remembering.....

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever. 
Hebrews 13:8

5 years old!

Kendall had her 5 year physical/kindergarten physical yesterday. I thought that I would post a few of her stats and of course a few pictures!

She is 42 inches tall.

Weighing in at 41 pounds.

One of her birthday celebrations

When given the choice of her birthday garb to wear to VBS, Kendall chose thise button and this pirate hat!

Listening to us sing Happy Birthday!

She loved having her cousins in for another birthday celebration!

Boating twice too

Waiting on her second cake

Waiting on the fireworks



Cementing my marriage together

I have done a little research in talking with really good friends and have found that most have a unique story of how their marriage really became "cemented" together.

Now we all know that marriage is meant to be forever and that in our current culture it seems easy to just walk away rather than work through the hard times and heartache.

Ben and I have had some really wonderful times and also some pretty horrible ones as well. I have never questioned that God brought us together for a particular purpose. I am so glad that I let God lead me to the right man instead of "choosing" on my own.

Anyway back to my cement talk, with what was supposed to be my due date for our third child only 2 days away, I have been pretty emotional to say the least. I am so very thankful that Ben has been so steadfast for me through the past 8 months.

I was just sharing with a very close friend and last week with my sister-in-law that I feel like this miscarriage really cemented our marriage together. We have suffered through our hard times & leaned on each other. We have grown through it but I really feel that this experience bonded us together. (And still continues to do so as I am traveling on this road.)

It felt fitting to share a little bit about how I have been coping with the loss of our baby. My parents bought me a ruby ring for Christmas to remember the little one that was to be joining us this month. It is a daily reminder that some day I have a sweet bundle of joy to meet when I greet my maker. 

I began to wear it under my wedding set (after speaking with Ben to make sure that he was ok with it) since it did not fit on any other finger & I could not bear to part with it to have it sized. For whatever reason, it just never looked or felt quite right. I was playing with it one day during my quiet time and slipped it on in between my engagement ring and wedding band. It instantly felt so right. 

Thus in my mind, our cement being formed and refined. Some days I can look at it and smile knowing that a sweet baby has brought such a love between Ben and I. 

And other days I try to be at peace with our current situation because I just might not be meant to understand God's ways.

I pray that some day I will again experience the joy of another pregnancy and baby but until then I am trying to take comfort in God's timing, love, and comfort. 

Big Kid kind of fun.....

Who said that parks were just for kids?

Certainly not us!

This is at the New River Marina playground where we stopped to dry off after our recent boating experience!

Of Course Isaac wasn't going to let us have all the fun!

I didn't get a picture of Kendall on the playground but she had lots of big kids fun herself. Here she is with her turtle (before it blew away and had to be rescued) on the New River.